this just sums it

It feels like everything has to happen at one go.
I know im the type who shuts up and ignore my peers even when they dont know if im in a temperamental state.
Im aware that I do that.
And I just wanna say im sorry if it gets to you.

I just feel a whole rush of world-weariness.
And the thing for me is, it comes all at a go.

Sometimes being so hesitant and thinking of every single detail of the pros and cons just irritates myself.

Trying to convince myself and well, others too.

But why not, just stay on my own ground.
Why not be fully pleased at my accomplishments.
Why not be vastly satisfied that and say ‘hey I actually done it’.

I just hate the fact im just such a pure melancholy.
Not in the miserable, downhearted gloomy way.
That analyzer, that chartmaker, that competitive nature.

Why not I make the best of things and stop fussing over spilled milk.

If only I had a planner running my pace, constantly reminding me.

***

Sometimes, you have to read between the lines to get things, no?
You. Yes I mean you.
Not that you people often mistaken for.
And I just hate that.