candlewoods

It sucks to check hotmail.com everyday to see if i got through for the BRATs program.
No I haven’t heard news.

What if they didn’t like my essay and rejected me. ._.
What if my essay never got through!
i sent by email so it could happen right?

Tolong lah I wanna get it so badly.
I thought it was easy to get in wan.


Ga ga ga.

Anyways,
Heres my 2k (?) essay.
Sorry lah if it bores you,
Its probably why they didn’t like me.
HUHU.

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A quiet unpredictable introvert is how my friends would describe me. A young perfectionist striving to make her mark, self conscious, affectionate and highly go getting is how I would confidently describe myself.

I was never in the “popular” group in my primary days. I believe it was because I had a weight issue that set me apart from my friends. I was an average student who scored mildly on my examinations. I felt very insecure with myself. Eventually, I got tired of rejection. It was then I started setting goals and pushing myself to achieve them, to find ways to improve myself, decide what I wanted to accomplish in life and how I could do it to benefit me but not change me wholly. Observing my peers was my tactic. I studied hard because I believed intelligent people had their way in determining their lives.

Serving and contributing to society has always given me the gratification and contentment. It makes me feel important and appreciated when I hear a simple word of thank you. I believe life is not solely on the profit you make, or the things you own but something to make you feel like you’ve made a difference. Something you’ve done to make others feel loved. In my opinion everyone should not be too busy slouching around at home minding their own business and throwing their time away but contributing to the world because we can only live once and should make it significant.

My family has and always will be the backbone to my existence. I am truly blessed and thankful to be a part of them. My father never fails to remind me to be a better person. His long but imperative lectures on the dangers of using drugs, cigarettes and such has been such a big influence to me and my perspective in life. His unwilling behavior to accompany me to watch Crime Scene Investigation or American Idol late at night will always be a favorable moment to recall. Moreover, my mother has constantly done all she can in her ability to do what mother’s do best. To nurture me, correct me and motivate me. She has never fail to be the best ear to my ramblings and the preeminent shoulder to cry on. Unlike many teenagers, she is my one and only fashion guru I look for, knowing best what I should wear on a certain occasion or when I have a fashion crisis. Lastly, my sarcastic older sister. Although we often fight like how typical siblings would, she has been the source that drives me to be better. My sister naturally sets the bar high so, being the usual competitive one, I work hard to match, or not surpass her accomplishments. Her achievements in her studies as well as her strength to carry herself to study abroad alone has truly made her a remarkable symbol to me.

Furthermore, my fondness to write has inspired and motivated me to keep a blog. I often pour out my inner thoughts and let the fluidity of my mind to wonder in that open journal I display to the world. I believe language has always caught my attention due to its amazing diversity and range of vocabulary. Keeping me intrigued to new words and its content. Apart from that, the concealed meaning behind poetry has made me fall in love with it, keeping me eager like a baby hungry for candy, to understand the beauty of its true traits. Thus, language has instigated my passion to be a journalist or pursue my career around writing, literature and much more.

I enjoy spending quality time with those close to my heart. I take pleasure in making the people around me happy because I cherish my relationships with others a lot. In addition to that, I enjoy planning celebrations and events to have a good time with my peers. Traveling or taking short walks after meals with my family is a time well spent because it bonds us closer to one another.

What I love about the world is its given priority to celebrate festive season in our respective countries regardless of the race and religion. Every culture is given a chance to gather together and share their beliefs with one another. I truly think that the world should be a multiracial, war-free and peaceful territory just as how it was given to us.

I dislike disrespectful people. They fail to see who and what matters to them and think everything else is unimportant besides themselves and what only involves them. On top of that, I also loathe people who judge others by their looks and not by their personality. Things like discrimination and favouritism should be strongly avoided. It would be very unjust to the person being judged or victimized based on their outlook.

Another fact that I dislike is my habit to over think things. Occasionally I tend to worry too much, making myself a tad bit too conscious about my surroundings than I should be. Sometimes I have to accept the fact that the world still can go round with or without me, and that I should just to sit back and relax without pacing up and down.

Every thing I have been through has truly moulded me into who I am today. Every day, every thing and every one around me; my family and friends, has been a notable inspiration to me. However, I know it is never enough, so with open arms and an open heart, I put my best foot forward, put on my thinking cap and challenge whatever obstacle that comes my way to discover new experiences and gain the never ending knowledge one can ever achieve.

In conclusion, it is hard enough if you want me to describe others let alone myself. The fear of being judge base on the phrases I use, how I portray things and how I try to depict things. Alas, I hope whatever I have mention has given you an idea of who I am. I believe that BRATs is going to offer me an unforgettable experience and I look forward to be a part of it!

“One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.”
-Helen Keller

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okay the only reaon im posting this because i feel like writing something but im still thinking of how to express it properly.
ahhaha.
so here's something to keep you busy lah.