not for the small hearted

I don’t really have much to say but I just miss um blogging.
Ha?

I feel like a ticking bomb because I can snap anytime.
Like I did today and I cant believe I just ignored the obvious fault.
But i left my ego behind after that of course.
No it has nothing to do with a boy/boys.


Im not sure if im even cranky now.
Tick tick tick.

You know I honestly believe we are all wannabe’s.
Don’t deny it!
Im not going to, because I am too.

I guess it depends how we take it and use it.
Its either going to take us somewhere or just make us annoying.
How do we tell if we’re getting annoying?
I really don’t know but I guess its when we get desperate.

There’s so many things to be inspired by and look up to.
Friends, prodigies (sighs).
Maybe some of us wouldn’t realise it yet but i know it happens when we start staring, acting, behaving and looking head to toe at a particular.

Is it good wanting to be somebody else?
I guess there isn’t any harm unless the person is the type that gets so annoyed because he/she claims they have a “trademark” identity sort.
Nobody has a “trademark” and nobody has the right to pin point anyone.
Out of the 6 billion people I honestly don’t believe that one person has a significant “trademark”.

Nah,
Wanting to be someone doesn’t necessarily mean looking and dressing the part;
Personally I think being inspired and motivated out of the idea is the way to go.
Of course im not trying to speak highly and all snooty of myself,
I do envy people for appearance, character and their charm.
It is hard though to accept that those things don’t come by in a snap if I start behaving like someone else.
You can’t just photocopy the exact same joke told the exact same way and hope people will fall head over heals for you.

I think its how we take it in and shape it right.

So arent we all wannabe’s?
Is it just self denial that we cant admit we are and tell ourselves we are so dam original.
Is it so hard to tell someone, you like who they are instead of working around the bush and being a clone and claim you were there first.
Is it so hard to admit that we are being inspired to be you rather pretending we already are you.

I guess its always nice to tell someone you think you like their new bag, that they look nice today, that you’re happy they won a game, their good at what they do, that you like who they are.

Beating around the bush trying to be them is probably harder.

So why do we try so hard but cant admit the fact that we are egoistic enough to say “I want to be like him/her” and instead portraying ourselves as plastics.

Yeah I am a wannabe in so many ways more than one.
I am inspired, jealous, encouraged and envious by the people around me and im not afraid to be vulnerable and admit that they are better than me.
Of course it sucks but so what,

It isn’t that hard to say.