sobbing yays

I have been a total useless lifeless person today.
Came back from interact meeting, where we played ‘Do You Love Your Neighbour’ which was actually fun from what I expected :P
Then ‘ChiKuPak’ which we added abit of our very own version. And CocaCola PepsiCola :D
Posed fake-ish-ly pretending to clean the pond, or pull out the weeds ( which we did ) for the camera for our Alam Sekitar kerja amal. Yay! First month of January and we’re done with two kerja amals. Nyehe..

I have lots of unfinish homework when I gave myself permission to ‘finish-it-the-next-day’ but everyday more and more homework adds up to my list and im never at peace.
Although I just have add maths tuition but Puan LimBeeLan is already enough to sum out three times of my form 3 bm teacher.

Oh yah, as I was saying. I did nothing today.
Im suppose to make sure I finish all my homework today incase I wanna go out tmr. All I did was ( after coming reaching home at 6 ) watch oh-so-fun American Idol while eating baskins which I made my mom buy for me. Just a tiny pint. But yay ! after I think half a year. Ahhahah. You see lah, why lah Kota Kemuning no baskin.. but its not like I ever get to buy every 31^st anyway. Hah ! dinner and tv and here I am.
Okay when it hits 12 I’ll start on my homework.

Oh yeah. Bye January.
I’ll be seventeen next January.
That sound so dam wrong.
I don’t even feel sixteen. It hasn’t sunken in yet.

Here’s my dad with supper
Buhbye !

i was pulling weeds :D

milk maids with missing braids :P
you see the colours match. haha

not a word

guilt.
why do i not keep promises i said to myself?
why are human beings so easily lured into these things called temptation?
promise me now, no more please.

L18

his daily routine

i don’t know how to work Bitcomet.. :S
I could’t watch my programs that I usually download, so I ended up watching it through youtube. Oh my goshh soo despo to watch :P
I changed my layout ! it’s the old layout I was talking about. The pink, yellow,grey layout. But it couldn’t be viewed by internet explorer. Now it can :D

Today we had class pictures.
OH MY GASHH SUEEN ! why didnt come today :(
I was about the eigth person( im assuming ) from the short-to-tall line. At least I had Lyn and SuLi back and front :D
We actually had a chance to stand behind with the guys on the bench but I think because I was a prefect that if I stand at the bottom with Christine it’ll look more coordinated or something :|
But we squeezed back to the bench during the informal shot :D
And did some weird thing, I hope it turned out alright.

Then at our second shoot which was the straight A shot, Lyn and I got to sit infront. Haha ! so maybe there’s good in being short :P
More photo sessions tmr. It’ll be my first prefect shoot since I missed last year because of mssd +_+
But I don’t really mind, I’ll look like an ant clone with all the other many prefects. You’ll take ages just to spot me..

Sigh, and I wont be taking picture with Leo this year, since I quit-ed. Heh.
They broke the news to me that I was suppose to be the president this year.So history repeats itself- again.
Initially if I hadn’t made that particular history in the first place, I would have had a post before I joined Leo.
Only a few know the details, and im burrying it.
Though, no regrets for being in Interact now :)

Afiq is leaving us tmr. He’s going to asrama, and so are more other malays in my class. If im not wrong we only have 11 malays in our present class and their leaving ? :|
You see what I mean when I say people only realise things when it actually happens?
Yours truly has known Afiq dearest for about 7 years although we were in different classes in secondary, but I never made an effort to know him more and now he’s leaving.

And I guess Irfan will be leaving too. Gosh my mom used to car pooled him to school when we were standard 1 ! if we were not in the same class this year, I guess we never would have talked again.
How much strangers we can be.

Im sure everybody does this, and obviously including yours truly;
Walking by someone you obviously know and knowing that the person knows you too, but you both pretend you don’t know each other and restrain eye contact.
What’s with people these days?

p/s; hey Denise, if you still want that old layout, tag me yah. It works on internet explorer already ;))

oh and did i mention, i love bothering you,Lillian :D:D:D
but i guess you obviously knew that already. HAHA

click for larger image aight.

i started cracking

Here I am again.
Gosh I tell you. Where is everyone when Im actually free to chat?
Everytime when im doing nothing nobody’s online or their just away.
When everyone is online im busy.
This sucks..

I watched the Australian open lately. Its over now. I don’t have any favourite players. I just pick them on the spot.
And I actually picked to watch the tennis match over footie. Heh. See im not big fan of footie. Just a minor fan.

Everytime I have a list of things that I keep in my head to remind myself what to do when I get home. But I just forget them when I actually sit down at the red table and chair.
The blue phone isn’t a distraction anymore.
But the computer just centimeters away is.As a result, you see me blogging everyday. Or almost.
Its more updated then my diary. O.o
Maybe cause im just lazy to hand write. It takes sooo long just to write one sentence and be satisfied with my already-horrible-handwriting.

Okay here goes my ‘moment of flaws and shutting up’ speech.

I got certain things straight and I no longer need to worry about being untruthful;
I guess I should’t care too much about certain things because only time can and will tell;
I really should be thankful even if I always said I hated the long process but there and then I realise I actually gained more then I lost.

Honestly, im not doing this on purpose.
Its just like everyday my mood’s in a zig zag way.
I hope my optimistic-here-for-the-moment-mood stays.
I hate being pessimistic.
Its just soo….. unoptimistic.

tonight

i watched Blood Diamond yesterday with my parents and it was real nice.
its a reality-based movie.
about how people in Africa fight each other causing Civil wars, and in the show they were practically killing each other for this diamond.
the movie is real good and touching. its pretty gruesome at some parts since its listed as 18PL but if your the type who likes reality based movies with a little action in it, you'll love it.
besides, Leonardo is in the movie.
Har-Har.

Steamboat bbq was pretty fun yesterday.
the bill was about RM700+
but there was like 40 plus people who went.
our table went creative that we made bbq-ed all sorts of stuff.
coincidentally, alot of people wore black t's with denim bottoms. haha..
school's tmr. -again.
sigh..

crap. i have to MC for next week's assembly.
i hate i hate. :S

we're alike

If there was an exam for blogging. I probably would have aced it by now.

I left my computer on the entire day, checking mails, blogs etc, but I didnt chat ( my messenger was away, as always )
Had my piano class today, which was awful because I havent been practicing.

My family and I went to midv , which I was excited to go, cause I felt veryy hong soh. But the journey there took an hour cause of that horrible jam.
And going back? Journey was fine. But something not-so-good-happen.
Why? Blame my arrogant-like-tantrum-problem.

That one hour long talk actually passed pretty quickly, my eyes feel as if they are about to pop out of their sockets. Id much rather sleep early today because I need it, but I dont want to look like ive been up all night with no black rings, you probably get what I mean, or you probably wont. It doesnt matter.

I feel terrible,
I feel useless,
I feel like I havent been much use,
I feel like ive neglected my responsibilities,
I feel like im not getting anything out of my effort.
I feel like im letting down someone with realizing but yet, still not doing anything.

Its funny isnt it, one moment im talking about flaws, the next about shutting up and moving on.
Im so messed up and ironic that I irritate myself.

Shut up shut up shut up.

The puffs under my eyeballs should be subsiding now.
I hope I dont ruin twenty-seventh January.
Happy birthday mom.

it feels like im holding on to something that i shouldnt.
i know it wont work, i really do,
so tell me why am i doing this again?

let that be enough

I actually came across something extremely funny.
I was browsing the net when I came across this.

Tip #1
Start Early.
Getting an early start is important. Make sure you're in a clear state of mind. You do not want to try to write your note while waiting for the pills you took to kick in, or have to rush through it before you bleed to death.

Tip #2
Don't try to say everything.
Decide what is most important to say and leave out things that don't matter. Decide now what you want your readers to come away with after reading your note.

Tip #3
Handwrite your note if you can.
A handwritten note is a lot more personal. However, if you are worried your letter will not be understood, or you are physically not able to write it by hand don't worry about it. Just get your message across.

Tip #4
Be natural.
Write the way you would speak. A good note is personal, not formal. Don't get out the thesaurus and look for the biggest words you can find. Be yourself.

Tip #5
Avoid cliché's
Filling your note with phrases like "Goodbye cruel world" and "no one understands me" will make your note feel less like your thoughts and more like a form letter. Too many cliché's and it can look like you are just going through the motions or that you are leaving a note because you feel that you should, but without having anything to say.

Tip #6
In general, use first person.
It creates a sense of intimacy and makes it easier for a reader to see things from your point of view.

Tip #7
Don't use your note like a will.
If you want to leave certain things to certain people you should setup a will ahead of time. It can be easily dismissed by the claim that you were not of sound mind when you wrote it.

Tip #8
Be Honest.
Your note will be one of the last things you give the world to judge you by. If you include things that others can disprove, it can discount the entire note. Besides, there is not much reason for lying at this point, is there?

Tip #9
Don't reveal your methods.
This is most important when taking poisons and pills. Telling everyone what you took just makes it easier for them to give you the treatments needed to revive you. Alternately, you do not want someone to find the note that details which bridge you're jumping off of before you get that chance to jump. They might be able to stop you. People will find out how you did it once the autopsy reports come in anyway.

Tip #10
Don't say anything you might regret.
There is always a chance that you will be found and "rescued". These notes are not the place to rip into people, give away other's secrets, or confess crimes. The last thing you want is to end up in a hospital bed, facing the people who read something you would never have told them while alive.

Tip #11
Make your note easy to find
Take some time to consider where to leave your note. If you can't leave it near you, be sure to leave it in an obvious location. Even if you want someone in particular to read your note first, avoid sending it to someone by mail. There are too many things that could go wrong and once you send it, it's gone. Your note could get lost in the mail, or worse, it could reach someone before you can go though with it.

Well, if you havent realise, or you didnt bother reading…
Its actually tips on writing a suicide note.
The net these days.. they just have everything dont they?
And no I did not google –suicide tips-
Im not plotting to kill myself anytime either.

this just sums it

It feels like everything has to happen at one go.
I know im the type who shuts up and ignore my peers even when they dont know if im in a temperamental state.
Im aware that I do that.
And I just wanna say im sorry if it gets to you.

I just feel a whole rush of world-weariness.
And the thing for me is, it comes all at a go.

Sometimes being so hesitant and thinking of every single detail of the pros and cons just irritates myself.

Trying to convince myself and well, others too.

But why not, just stay on my own ground.
Why not be fully pleased at my accomplishments.
Why not be vastly satisfied that and say ‘hey I actually done it’.

I just hate the fact im just such a pure melancholy.
Not in the miserable, downhearted gloomy way.
That analyzer, that chartmaker, that competitive nature.

Why not I make the best of things and stop fussing over spilled milk.

If only I had a planner running my pace, constantly reminding me.

***

Sometimes, you have to read between the lines to get things, no?
You. Yes I mean you.
Not that you people often mistaken for.
And I just hate that.

i hope i did good

im no stranger to bad choices.
ive let go of many and i mean many great, freaking great opportunities coming my way, but
i thought what i did
was for the better,
turns out im wayyyy wrong- again.

sigh

well we're told tht we have a week's holiday for chinese new year. yay !
although i cant exactly celebrate 8 days in a row.
lets buat rumah terbuka and do what we do best :D mah jong! nyeheh.
no gambling please !

my limewire is still down and i cant download stuff :( :( :(
maybe i should change my downloading program.

okay, so i have tons of homework everyday plus, im not going school tmr. gahh. more homework.
mssd is almost finish.
we've played two games so far, one againt Sri Cahaya and the other Damansara Jaya. we won both schools and we're againts USJ 12 tmr. if we win we'll get to the semi's -if im not wrong.
both under 15 boys and girls each won and lost a game, and i guess their not able to qualify for the next round. under 18 boys are still in the running and all the best to everyone :D

me and ashley are gonna help design the prefect's shirt and we're pretty much in a brain-storming-ish mood. hope its nice. im sure it'll be alot more nicer then the last.
and im suppose to come up with a design for ball too. i kinda did. only a few saw. but, i dont think its nice yet. :so i'll start over.

im having an addiction.
an addiction to make chinese tea in a thermo flask every night.
its just so.... addictive :D

its gonna be a longgggggg day tmr. going to school at 10am, and prolly reaching back about say, 5 + ? then i have replacement-tuition at 8pm-10pm.
and my camera's out of memory space ! ahhh ahhh ahhh !

cakes and pizza for all :)

the belated birthday boy and the to-be-australian

candid

they're related.
nah just kidding :D
but they do look alike right?



the form fours among the older(s)

we took millions of photo to get this right.

seven girls and a guy

i like this photo !
fyi, they were exaggerating. haha !

;D

buddy for six years and counting. :D

pouts pouts

chat buddy Shing Vee ! :D
i know your taller.

ex group leader with ex group members :D

Had a nice time at Shakeys,
Year 2006's form fives were looking different :D
Chern Khang will be leaving soon.
it'll be cool if i could follow them to drop him off at the airport.
but i doubt i could.
Kay,Lyn,TanSiewLee and i bought Shing Vee a really cool looking polo tee. - i tell you, you better make us proud :P
and i bought CK a cake. haha. a mini one. sorry lah. i was lack of creativity to get you anything else. and also lack of time :P
oh gosh. and there was a rat the size of a guinea pig that was running around in shakeys. tskkkk..

the beat of it

honestly i dont really like this skin. cause the girl looks a little creepy.
but the girl with tht colourful hat looks okay :P
i liked the skin before this better. that pink/grey/yellow mysterious looking drawing layout before this. but people say they cant see it from Internet Explorer. whyy lahhh.
i dont like blogs with music in the background cause it distracts me when im readin. :\
hehe im sorry =p
slow soft ones are definately better then those loud beat-y musics bombing in the background.

its a short post cause im bored from physics.
school's tomorrow :(
weekends seems to past faster and faster.
correction : the years seem to past faster.
and i feel sad.
hahah

oh ! and thanks Kay for that really cool coke can you bought for me !
amazingly my name was printed on the coke can. just a tiny part, when the other wordings were in japanese.
cool ya ya ?

i have stuffed mojo-look-alike waiting for it to be revealed in, say.... in less then a month?
nyehehehhe.
go figure !

oh gosh..
yesterday digi's i will follow you song was stuck in my head.
today motorola's tune is stuck.

and i said again

I dont know whats wrong my blogger again. The tagboards are malfunctioning.
I cant seem to see anyones or mine. Sigh.
Ive change the layout and added that comment box. So feel free to leave comments since my tagboard is faulty.

and i dont know why i cant to that pembuka kata sign. this corak corak thing just comes out.so ill have to replace some of them with a dash.

Today we actually braided/pleated our hair. Its been a super long time since I did it. I think the last time I did it was in primary four or something.

I couldnt pleat my own hair so my mom had to do it for me, sitting there letting her tie my hair for me took ages. In the end it was all in a bunch of mess and what the heck, I didn’t have time to care since I was late already.

Everyone looked like dutch ladies/phocohantas/or farmer chicks.
Some did the tebu thing, you know those type when you put rubberbands all the way down your hair? Mainly for long hair people I guess.
Some did that normal single braid, or the braids that go both sides of your shoulders. During bm teacher told us that the school decided to call off that pleat-hair rule. Relief-ness…

Stupid rules.. I wonder why our schools are enforcing such stringent rules lately, caring about every single detail..
I realize a lot of people are appealing for school transfer, or going to. Sigh..
Please dont. I don’t want you guys to.

Its actually kinda funny right.
People only remember or realise things when, people they know were actually leaving.
How funny human works.

You dont really care if that person sat infront of you or if you were friends since kindergarden.
Just felling secure with that -im-going-to-see-him/her-everyday- feeling and just when that person breaks the news, of -im migrating-.

Then, only then, we actually take into account that we’re never gonna see that person again.
Going teary eyed and wishing they didn’t have to leave.

Or when it takes someone to pass away for you to realise that they actually exist.
When in the past you go -who?-
And after, when everyone goes -yea, I knew him/her-

Im not pointing fingers;
Its just my way of thinking.

come here big yellow taxi

She still doesnt get why things are still like that..
She still gets that cold-shoulder even when she made an effort,
She still tried to please her,
but nothing seems to be coming in good response,
Yeah sure she gets a little treat of nice chats;
but she still hates it when it comes to that topic;
She still knows one day she'll have to confront it,
Probably many other days too,
but what she hates most is when she has to get over it;
and know she has to do the same thing all over again,
She used to be a tantrum-throwing person but honestly,
She tried and it worked,
She's not even finicky;
She's not even rebellious;
She's not opposing to requests;
She's not into dirty habits;
She's trying her best to please;
but she still thinks there's no reason to it sometimes,
Yet she still tries.

where are you?

Ive known you for a long time;
I think so.
We used to joke and hung out;
We did?
I told you my secrets;
Hmm?
You told me yours;
Maybe.
You assured you would remember;
I didnt.
You said that you cared;
I do.
You dont know me anymore;
Yes I do.
You didnt notice;
Notice what?
Is it going to get better?;
I assure you.
You said that before;
I promise you now.
You said that before too;
Im sorry.
Me too;
What happens now?
You tell me;
Im not sure.
Do you believe me?;
Yes.
Surely?;
Definitely.
So we will see then?;
I guess we shall.

hey stranger, do i know you?
i think i do

i think i do

do i know you?

six out of the eight players for under-18 girls team, waiting for our very late bus.
we're all high and sweaty. look at jo lyn :P well, i guess you cant see her. hah !
i smell of sun block lotion.
first match of mssd, and we won :)
all the best to the others !

gahhh so much homeworkkk.
yay i can see my tag board.
yay my internet connection is back to ay-okay
oh wait, why am i online again?
i told you i have an addiction.
i really should move the comp out of my room..
nahhhh.. :D

im somehow excited for that shakey's mini gathering thingy this sat. prolly i just wanna see some old ex form fives :)
or prolly i just wanna go out.
lets slp over !
smiles smiles smiles.. :D :D :D

oh may i add,

i dislike people who are arrogant and show offs, especially when they're talking about it right in your face.
and when they think they're not.

i like like like, -correction- i loveeeeeee humble people.

i like silent humble people. they're just full with suprises and you go 'wahhhh' when you know what they're hidden abilities are, well because they dont show off. it just makes it EXTRA special.

like i said

So this is a continuation;

I have a habit for drying my hands on my tee/pants after washing them;

I have a habit for keeping unwanted or useless ( so as my mom say ) papers/letters/souveniers;

I have a habit for organizing my timetable in advance;

I have a habit for planning everything before it happens;

I have a habit for analyzing things;

I have a habit for being over paranoid especially when there arent many people around;

I have a habit for getting annoyed easily;

I have a habit for taking things too seriously;

I have a habit for taking things for granted;

I have a habit for blogging ! at least once a week ;p

I have a habit for coming online O.O

I have a habit for drawing;

I have a habit for being the slowest person to get ready in the house;

I have a habit for reading a few books at a time;

I have a habit for losing my clips/bookmarks/pens;

I have a habit for getting myself into unwanted erm mess-es.

My dad just got back from his charity golf thing.

Hhaha always bringing back prizes which is a good thing, but sadly I have to say, 8 out of 10 of those prizes he gets from competition he enters are from lucky draw. Haha !

Well today he brought back the first prize, which is ANOTHER thermo flask ( for mom to use ) , a bag which I snagged (ha-ha) and the rest is for him :D

Pastor mention about worldliness in church today and yeah it hit me,

I guess probably most wouldt understand how true everything he says is,

We’re all blinded by what the world has to offer to us.

Two out of the three statements he mention hit me real hard. It actually happen this week a few times and coming to church to listen what God has to say really answered my questions to it.

I miss going to youth and I heck miss playing the keyboard for service.

But I cant argue, I hardly can even go for youth.

Now you see the not-so-good-benefits of living so far from everyone that you dont have people to fetch you home from activities and when your parents are busy.

Well ive always rebel against the idea of living so far. But what the heck. Im gonna be stuck here for a longggggggggggggg time.

And im not confident for driving that far of a distants so soon ( when I get my license and all I mean )

Okay enough.

Oh one more;

I have a habit for not resisting the temptation to continue online-ing because I have people chatting with me now. Ahhhhh go away ! I need to do homework. Oh no its 9.30 ! csi !

sigh, i already miss that form three/lower secondary/young feeling vibe.
its no gonna be the same isnt it?

i told you before

Forgive the crying faces :D
p/s. kay's mom and lilly's dad as kelefeis !

I dont know whats wrong with the comp, or my internet connection. But I cant seem to log in to blogger/blogdrive or tag at any tag boards :(

And cant even see the tag board actually.

A week of school already passed, funnily everyone in my class does their homework automatically, okay most of the people.

My weeks are gonna be busy :S

Everyday is reserved for a school activity/tuition/piano. My house practice is on Thursday and so is my add math, and I wanna go for house practice. Hrm..

My new baby nephew is born ! and im hoping to be the god-sis :)

He is 8 days old, named Sean. But they say he cries a lot.

tmr is a sat !

Gonna go for bomba meeting, basketball training, maybe go yumcha and I hope hope hope I can go out. Its been soooooooo long..

Haha, and today, I saw a table with ugly words, ugly I tell you.

Its about guess-who and by guess-who again. Well, only a few know.

I find it abit amusing, some of them.

Haha but I have to say, it did get to me. Just a little, just a tiny weeny bit.

Yours truly,

Nerdy / Lame / Banana.

Need I say more?

the vainest people are the people who never admits it

Let me be the one to break the news first.
Im sure you will hear me rant bout it in school, but those of you who read this tonight, just pay attention.
Its what I heard and I guess its prolly true since its what teacher said,

Below are some shocking news that I will soon expose, pay attention, namely girls.

As you all know my teachers were unreasonably giving us lectures on our school attire, its alright if we were only allowed to used black or dark blue hair ties in school-no arguments theres. But not letting us wear colourful glasses or tinted frames? Does it bother them?

Or not letting us wear too expensive watches that are too colourful.

We even have to measure our earrings to make sure it is ONLY less than 0.5cm.

Oh not to forget not letting us pluck our eyebrows. O.O

Not that most of us do, but what do the school care about our eyebrows..

Today, I heard teacher caught this girl who had long hair that reached her butt. Im sure we form fours know, its a form four malay girl. It was neatly tied up but teacher pulled her hair and brought her to the office.
Err hello.. is there some kinda rule that people cant keep their hair long?

Well you might think thats my -shocking news- but nope. Theres an even better tip to all stated above.

I tell you, if this really happens, im just gonna shave my head.

Know why?




Girls with any sort of length that fulfills this matter, well namely long hair, has to PLEAT their hair.

Let me repeat; girls has to PLEAT PLEAT PLEAT THEIR HAIR.


I know what your thinking now;

OLIUYHGIAHNSDGIAHBSIUTGJASUGJFIOABSYIO !!!!!!!!!

jack in a box

So this is a new spot I decided to blog at. Since ive been tetchy about how blogdrive works. Its so darn hard to change the tables etc.
My internet explorer is lagging. Especially for blogger. :
Anyways,
A list of thing I like and dislike just for the fun of it :)

I like black coffee;
I like super bitter dark chocs;
I like green tea ice cream;
I like like like brown; :)
I like colourful notebooks and lecture pads !;
I like cool CDRWs andtrendy cd covers;
I like shitty and jade green;
I like dead roses;
I like vinegar !;
I like tennis;
I like skateboarders;
I like musicians;
I like intruments;
I like broadway plays;
I like reality tv shows;
I like bombastic words;
I like a jack in a box;
I like slow weird emo music;
I like flu-voice;
I like blog hopping;
I like hand made items;
I like the smell of petrol- sometimes;
I like people who remember little details;
i like most sports and xgames;
I like watching people play rpg games;
i like the smell of used-too-often blankets :)

I dislike any other form of green besides the ones stated above; ;)
I dislike procrastinators’ ; - HAHH
I dislike over sweet form of food;
I dislike fold marks on my books;
I dislike the smell of new furniture;
I dislike that tiny red monster;
I dislike pebbles in my shoe;
I dislike being the underdog;
I dislike heavy metal; O.O
I dislike people who type halfway on msn, not sending the message they send and just STOP. ; I dislike sleeping; yess i do. I dread..
I dislike grade 8 piano;
I dislike unsatisfied teachers/examiners;
I dislike it when my favourite shoes spoil;

Im sure there’s plenty more but that’s all I can think of right now. Probably I’ll continue another time?

Here’s a jumpy photo :D